Excuses...And Our Love Affair with Them

So this week marked two important time periods in the lives of students across the country. First, it's the end of the semester for college students. Final exams are wrapping up and students are heading back home to their sponsors..oops..parents. Second, it was progress report (and parent-teacher conference) time for many K-12 students.

I've been fortunate enough to get my feet wet in K-12 education this year, in addition to my duties as a college professor. One of the things that always bothers me about this time of year on the collegiate level is the number of negotiators. Those are the students who didn't do what they were supposed to do throughout the year and now, because they need to pass the class to graduate, maintain a scholarship, or stay out of trouble at home, want you to provide them some "extra credit" to help boost their grade to an acceptable level. I personally loathe this time, as do a lot of colleagues I've spoken to. Instead of being accountable, students think that their under-developed negotiation skills are enough to influence a professor to take pity on them and give them a grade they didn't earn. It's even somewhat amusing at times (stay tuned, that's another forthcoming book).

The problem is there is always an excuse. An excuse about why they didn't come to class all semester (except the first week), why they never turned in a homework assignment (but deserve an 'A' cause they REALLY know the material..seriously..), and why you should understand that they have other things to do than just work for your class (like hang on the yard, go to parties, talk on the phone, and tweet and Facebook their friends..seriously, this class is a disruption to the bare necessities).

The one thing I love about college life is the FERPA. I don't have to interact with parent unless explicitly given approval by the student. So usually, I don't interact with parents. However, now that I'm experiencing a taste of K-12 education, I realize where the excuses originate..the parents. See, the kids usually don't have a lot of excuses about why they didn't turn in an assignment. I tell my middle-schoolers just like I tell my undergraduates, "if it's late, it's a 0, plain and simple. You have rules and you must follow them." Usually, the students will abide by this. They don't have homeworks and, when asked why, they simply respond "I just don't" or "I didn't do it." But my recent encounters during parent-teacher night have convinced me that there is a large subset of parents of this new "Generation Lost" that are making excuses for their children before the kids can even spell the word.

Let me share some of the responses/excuses I've received from parents:

1. You are NOT teaching college students. These are 7th graders. (My response: Ma'am, turning your assignments in on time is what you are taught in Kindergarten...it's called accountability).

2. My child was WELL aware of your deadline of 12pm today and has been working on the assignment since it was assigned. However, he was in an open house all day today and forgot to submit his homework. Can you please provide a 24 hour extension? (My response: The assignment was extended last week to this week, making a total of 2 weeks to submit...No)

3. Can my child make up the past due assignments or do extra credit to boost his grade? I'm just now able to view his grades online and am trying to stay on him. (My response: No, students have been aware from the beginning that I accept no late assignments. Your child must follow the same rules every other student does)

4. Student: I turned in my homework, I DIIDDDDD. Parent: Well, if she said she turned it in I believe her. I used to believe the teachers first but I've learned if she said she did it she is telling the truth. (My response: You mean like she was telling the truth that she turned in the homework that she just dug out of her bookbag that was never submitted???)

It doesn't take a genius to notice the running theme here. Parents are creating the monsters that K-16 educators have to deal with, a generation of students who not only don't do the work, but make an excuse about WHY they didn't do it and then EXPECT educators to provide them with a grade they didn't deserve. Parents, stop making excuses for why your child can't or won't do something. You are handicapping your kids before they even have an opportunity..more importantly, you're pissing off a world of educators in the process. We can only do our job when in the classroom. It's your responsibility to do your job at home.

See, these kids grow up into young adults who now make excuses for themselves, because they've been taught they don't have to earn anything. They can negotiate. When this doesn't work, they've been taught to complain and attack anyone who holds them accountable. These same young adults turn into employees who maybe can con their way into a career but won't be able to stay long because there is always an excuse about why they didn't get something done, why something went wrong, or why they juuuuuuust can seem to accomplish a task that a freshman in college should be able to complete. Again, it turns to finger-pointing and attacking..


So parents, do us all a favor and start teaching your child to be accountable for his/her actions both in and outside of the classroom. My dad is a retired public school educator and administrator. The BEST quote I've heard was from him this morning. "Don't making excuses for your kids. They already make enough for themselves."

And there you have it. Want to know more, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and my website!

Until next time!

The Least Wonderful Time of the Year: Advice to College (And Parents of K-12) Students

There are a number of reasons why I love the holidays. First, the Christmas season ( which, for me, officially begins the first time I hear "This Christmas" by Donnie Hathaway). Then there is the second most important holiday of the year, my birthday (December 28, in case anyone wants to send monetary gifts, feel free to do so via PayPal). Finally, it's CHRISTMAS BREAK!! Only a college professor gets one month off every year for the Christmas holiday (did I mention I love my job??)!!

Most students look forward to this break as well. Who wouldn't want a month away from school, with no worries about classes, waking up early, or studying?? However, for some students (and parents) this can be the most stressful time of the year, and for many college professors, it can become the most annoying time of the year...the last week of classes...

Why would professors find this time so annoying you ask?? Because this becomes "bargain season," the time when students you've never seen in office hours before are waiting at your door 15 minutes before we arrive to discuss how they were supposed to graduate this semester...HOWEVER, our class is the roadblock that is preventing them from doing so. Never mind that they rarely showed up to class on time, if at all, never turned in a homework assignment, and never attempted to study. That's irrelevant. At this point, it's about negotiating. You see, they need to graduate. They have a job offer, this is the last class they needed, or they can't afford to spend any more money at the university. In any case, they need the professor to "give them a grade" so they can meet graduation requirements. I walked into my office this morning to find my retired colleague (who uses my office for office hours since he's teaching my class this semester) explaining to a student that he won't "give" him any grade he doesn't earn. Mind you, this is a supposed-to-have-graduated-two-years-ago senior.

I have a special love-hate this special week of the year...for the simple reason that I explain to my class at the beginning of every semester NOT to ask me at any time what they can do to improve their grade..because my response will initially be, "your work." Further questions will be ignored.

Here is my advice to current college student. DO YOUR WORK! YOU are accountable for your progress. Your effort (or lack of) will EARN you the grade you receive. Trying to win brownie points or last-minute plea deals may get you through a class, but it will stop you in your career and life. You see, once you graduate, you actually WANT a job in that career? Imagine how embarrassed you will feel when you can't perform work or answer questions that a freshman in your major should know? Furthermore, stop wasting our (fellow professors) time with questions about why we won't just give you a passing grade and instead spend it asking questions about concepts you don't understand because you never took the time to read the book until last week.

But I digress. Maybe those are just my own encounters (though I doubt it). Now that I also have experience teaching K-12 students, I've learned that these "little monsters" weren't created by Lady Gaga fans. Nope, they were created by their sponsors...parents who have stopped holding kids accountable for their performance (or lack of) and instead hold teachers accountable for not giving their child extra time to make up missed assignments that they didn't turn in on time, or to do extra credit to help "improve their grade."

See..the beauty of teaching undergraduates is that the FERPA keeps me from having to speak to most parents who want to plead for their child. However, in middle school, that's not the case. In fact, I HAVE to meet with parents. And what I'm learning, is that so many of you parents are doing a disservice to your child. Sure, you have a great career and can provide your children the finer things in life. However, what happened to the basics? Like being accountable for your actions, accepting a loss and working to improve on it the next time or...wait for it...I dare say...studying and actually understanding the material!! Now THERE's a concept that's innovative!!!

Now, if you think I'm being offensive then my guess is you are either that type of college student or parent. The truth is, if you are either or, then you should IMMEDIATELY do a self-reflection, and change your ways. Otherwise you (or even worse, your child) will suffer the consequences. Til next time! **stepping off soapbox**